A new challenge!

I don't feel that I did very well with the 101 in 1001 list, so I've set myself a new challenge called "36 before 36" with 36 much more realistic and banal goals that I must achieve before I turn 36 in June!

November - time's up!

I actually ran out of time on the 20th November - blimey that 1001 days went by fast! Stupidly, I got pregnant (am due any minute now) so that meant there were lots of things on my 101 list that I didn't manage to do.

So here they are - they're probably the more dangerous ones:

- Learn to ride a motorbike
-Go scuba diving with DH
-Take OH horse riding

-*Learn more patience*
(think I can safely say that I haven't done this one - I lost my temper the other day when a speeding motorist drove at 80mph past my house and knocked my shopping bag out of my hand)
-Stop making jokes

- Read all of the BBC's greatest 100 books. Missed 27 of these!

-Take a hot air balloon flight

-And a sky dive

-Go to South America. Bah.

- Volunteer in Africa. No :(

*-Try harder with novel/short story.*
Haven't touched this - will try again in 2012.

*-Hire a classic convertible for a sunset drive.*

I actually did HIRE the car but haven't been able to find a date to drive it. I look forward to turning up to collect the keys with a baby seat in my other hand.


*-Get fit again*
I have been doing yoga but have pledged with MrPBR to do a 10k next year.

-Have saved £20,000. Only £17,000 short on this one!!

-Do some sort of watersport. No - insurance wouldn't allow!

*- Resurrect my conversation ability in three different languages.*

Can still just about do this in French, Spanish, Cantonese and Japanese. Have been learning German recently - more to be done when I start breast feeding!

*-A charity walk or run - not the Race for Life*
....I did the Race for Life and intended to do the Santa Jog in town, but MrPBR wouldn't let me!

*-Investigate green grants for electricity.*
Government has got rid of a lot of these. I have however found ways to reduce our electricity bill.

*-Use rainwater* - I have done this for the plants.

-*Create a PBR (an award of some sort)*.

Am thinking quite seriously about giving some sort of award to the best charity shop that I visited in 2011 in order to complete my challenge here:
www.charity365.blogspot.com

-*Be an extra in a series or film*
Far too fat at the moment! Hopefully in 2012!

-*Become a finalist in the World Nettle Eating Championships*
The event clashed with something else this year. (Fortunately?)

-*Go to a festival abroad*.
Next year! Isle of Wight? hahahaha!

*-Buy new sofa.*
We are hoping to move house in 2012 so might wait until then!

*Sell one of DH's paintings and get him commissioning drawings.*
Poor MrPBR has been snowed under at work so I've left him alone! I wish I had his artistic talent though - I would definitely make the most of it!

*-Try surfing*.

I was too big by the time the summer came around. Will see if I can take a course in the summer.

-*Stay in a tepee at a festival*.
A mere £900 at Glastonbury - I couldn't justify this so just visited one for a cup of tea while we were there!

*-Sort out memorial bench for relatives*.
I made some progress with this, but the spot I had earmarked required consent from the parish council. They agreed, but then I couldn't get hold of the bench and plaque company by which time my family started to disagree on where the bench should be placed. My idea was to put it by the sea but they thought it might disintegrate. We gave up in the end.

*-Go to a drive in movie*.
I've NEVER seen one advertised. I asked my American friend and she said that in the states these died out because it was so uncomfortable and the sound was appalling. Will keep an eye out though!

*Walking holiday/weekend*

Never got around to this.

*Cycle from one end of the Kennet and Avon Canal to another*
Next year!

*Punting*
Next summer!

*Try real tennis*
Forgot about this one! Not sure where I can do this?

*See the Northern Lights*
Went to Norway but didn't go far enough north!

*SPonsor a little girl in India*
I have given a lot of money to charity this year. Will see if I can do this before Christmas.

*INvite people round for tea*
When we moved to this house, MrPBR's brother told us that our house was "****" so I have been far too embarrassed to invite people round. I did invite my friend who is not rude for tea and scones though.

*Pier-to-pier swim for charity*
Never got around to this but hope to do some sort of swimming challenge in 2012.

*Do an Open University qualification*
No time or money! Will look into this more thoroughly in 2012.

*Do a mini triathlon*
Never saw any advertised but ANOTHER for 2012!

*Go on a cycling holiday*
Sold my bike -eeeeek!

*Try a raw food diet*
Will try this again in 2012 to help me lose all the weight I've put in.

*Become a member of the National Trust*
Money!!

*Look into franchise opportunities*
I did buy "Franchise" magazine and had a good look through before wondering if I should actually start my own business. I've given up my job so perhaps will have more time to work out what my passion is and what I should do business wise. I will also have a more realistic view of what time is available once you have a baby....

So there we are. This challenge has been great for making me do things but I think another is required!

This week I shall unveil the items from the list that I will carry out before June 2012 when I am 36 aka the "36 before 36" challenge!

Thanks for reading and best of luck in your challenges. A special shout out for Dannie who has achieved lots on her list and has proved to be very inspirational!

96. Become more adept at refurbishing furniture

Done!

I had a couple of chairs that I bought in a panic once from a junk shop as I had lots of people coming round to dinner. They don’t really match anything in my house, so I painted them in that Farrow and Ball paint, so beloved of home and interiors magazines!

I am terrible at painting - I always get bored so my strokes become a bit haphazard, but since it always makes such a mess, I like to do it in one go. Fortunately, the paint is so expensive that it's got some sort of special ingredient in it which makes it look good. You can't really tell when a fool like me has been at the DIY.

The chairs, a table and a chest of drawers that I’d painted in the same colour, went on eBay, with a massive disclaimer from me. Despite that, they all sold for a good price, with one of the buyers telling me how much she loved them when she came to collect!

I’m thinking about saving up to buy some more paint (it’s about £34 a pot – so if I don’t eat for a week, I should manage it, haha!) and will be looking around the house for more things to paint. MrM said no when I offered to paint all of the floors after an inspirational week in Norway!

www.doorsixteen.com/2009/01/26/white-painted-floor-back-room/

13. Do more freelancing/89. Have my own side business

I’ve just realised these are the same! However, it seemed to be worth writing it down twice as I've achieved it and now have my own website. Thanks to that and some lovely word-of-mouth recommendations I have been able to get some private PR clients! It’s fabulous to have more work and that it is varied too!

www.macmabel.com

93. Have someone trust me to look after their dog or child

Oh dear. Well, I did achieve this literally. However, when it came to the actual looking after, it all ended in tears.

What happened was that my sister asked me back in June if I could look after her son for a weekend in September. I was thrilled by this and said yes, yes, yes! He’s a lovely little boy and I hardly ever see him!

However, I emailed her about it recently and didn’t hear back and assumed it was off. She often cancels things as she’s very busy, so I signed up to do something else on the Saturday.

Then she called me and asked if I could do it. I said yes definitely to the Friday and the Sunday. She went absolutely mad, asking what was the point if I couldn’t do the Saturday. I felt terrible about leaving her in the lurch, so said that I would cancel my course. She’d hung up by then. I called back and tried to tell her that I could do it, but she said I’d already angered her and it was too late. She hung up on me again.

No one now feels very good about this, so if I tick it off my list (as technically she did trust me with her little boy!), at least some good has come of it!! I have also noticed that I put "dog or child" in that order. That should have told me something!!

72. More wild swimming (as it’s £4.30 per swim at the swimming pool!)

Much to my shame, I have only recently discovered that there is an outdoor pool in my town! It’s a beautiful 75m long lido which was originally built in the late 1800s and rebuilt in the 1940s. We’re so lucky to have it (particularly as it’s cheaper than the indoor pool), and I have been making the most of it on overcast days when it’s not packed with children and inflatables.

At first, it was a bit of a stretch to swim a whole length as the pool I’d just cancelled my membership with was a mere 15m. However, with a little practice, it’s now doable and it’s a fabulous feeling to get out of it having completed an hour’s worth of swimming.

If you’re into outdoor swimming, I can’t recommend the beautiful book “Wild Swim” highly enough. It’s packed with such wonderful pictures that you’ll want to pull on your bathing costume.

If you live in London try this inspiring, witty and informative blog:

www.swimmingroundlondon.blogspot.com/

95. Sort out home office

I’ve been working from home for a while and love all the time I’ve saved not having to drive to London every day – a round trip that could sometimes take five hours. Originally the plan was to work from the upstairs bedroom, but I’m comfortable with the dining room table as none of my internet/phone wires extend upstairs. I’ve finally found a balance between my home comforts and my work papers, each one threatening at times to drown out the other. I’ve got rid of all the work journals, books, nicknacks, presentations and paper that I don’t need and work from a simple two shelf in-tray and my laptop. I get so much more done and I have time (while my computer is thinking or I’m between jobs) to do a bit of cleaning!

53. Have an English student and become a homestay mother

I have a very nice student staying with me! So far, I have managed not to poison him and have even imparted some knowledge to him. He’s an 18-year-old French lad and is very pleasant to have in the house. I am enjoying his company and showing him round our town, although he’s here for three weeks so the novelty of the area will wear off tomorrow at the latest....

86. Have someone tell me that I inspire them.

Very strangely, this happened twice on one day, and both on the same day that my mum and sister had spent the morning telling me how useless I was....

I have a very unusual problem. During the night, I suffer from night terrors which quite a few children suffer from, but very few adults. It means that often I half wake up and during this period of half waking and half sleeping, the room is real, but the person standing over me menacingly is not. I usually scream and then fall asleep and forget about it. This means I don’t sleep well, but the real problem is for my poor husband who gets woken up, sees me in distress and also doesn’t get a full night’s sleep.

Unfortunately, this occurs more when I am stressed as I am a bottler of problems. There’s no-one I can speak to about the things that bother me, so my worries tend to manifest themselves at night.

When I had a night terror while my sister was staying with me this weekend, she went absolutely mad at me the next morning, saying she hadn’t had any sleep and that if this carried on, I would make a terrible mother (I am four months pregnant).

Although she implied I’d done it deliberately, I absolutely can’t help it. She yelled at me a bit about how selfish I was. I told her that her shouting wasn’t really helping with the problem, to which she sarcastically said: “OH, it’s MY fault, I am soooo sorry – what can I do for YOU?” before slamming a door in my face.

Now, I mention this so there’s a bit of context to how upset I was, so I went for a swim, and then I thought I’d go for a walk and happened upon an open day at a local monastery. While I was there, a woman came up to me and said she recognised me from when I used to work at the local paper. She then made the connection between myself and my husband and much to my surprise, told me how impressed she was with our hard work and commitment to the community (this would be my husband, not me), but then went onto say that she used to enjoy my newspaper articles and remembered one interview in particular - when I met the wonderful Ken Hom!!

Later on the same day, after I had manoeuvred my now-giant head out of the door, I caught up with my friend who tried to buy me a coffee which is one of the things on my BANNED list for the baby! She guessed immediately and told me that I was a lovely person who would make a wonderful mum which made me cry as it almost cancelled out the heavy doubts that my sister had put into my head.

Thank you to the lovely women who believe in me. Even if it’s not true, your timing could not have been better.

xxx

90. Have more articles published

Done! I've actually done this without giving it too much thought, As is often the way, I've been incredibly busy recently and of course being busy seems to be good for business! I've done some freelance work on all kinds of different subjects and also been invited to do a few entertainment reviews and intereviews at for my old workplace.

Here's the latest which was a review of comedian Arthur Smith:

Sadly, a superinjunction prevented comedian Arthur Smith from appearing at the Corn Exchange on Saturday night, so it was Canadian legend Leonard Cohen who replaced him, coming on stage singing “I’m your man”.....

After throwing off his hat and revealing himself as “Leonard Cohen’s only tribute band”, proceedings continued with one of Smith’s most anticipated and famous jokes; “My name is Arthur Smith, or if there’s anyone here from Streatham Tax Office, my name is Daphne Fairfax”.

“Arthur Smith Exposed!” continued thus with Smith flitting between a couple more old jokes, lots of new jokes (one told in French), poetry recital, audience participation in the form of a woman called “Miss Don’t you Dare!” and anecdotes about his life from his autobiography.

This kind of disjointed show could have been a bit of a mess, however, Arthur Smith is such an affable and likeable host that it all came together as an entertaining showcase of his life rather than an eyesore (although the same might not be said of his “funny pants” that made an appearance early in the second half).

The second half also unfortunately saw him omit his successful Leonard Cohen impressions, but in a reference to his regular appearances on panel shows, particularly the popular BBC show Grumpy Old Men from which he seems best known, audience members were invited to submit on paper the things that got them equally irked.

Smith is a funny man, and rightly described as comedy royalty, having been there at the birth of the “alternative scene”. His easy charm and man-of-the-world delivery endeared him to the crowd, not only thanks to his strength as a raconteur, but also as he’d clearly spent time researching Newbury ie making jokes about Thatcham and reading from the NWN.

In fact, it was his gentle story-telling in that mellifluous voice of his that seemed to be most appreciated. Stories such as his meeting notorious gangster Mad Frankie Fraser while playing Hamlet and about Eric Sykes’ feelings regarding Bruce Forsyth scored highly, as did his brave and deeply personal insights into his father’s WW2 experiences and Smith’s own brush from death from acute necrotising pancreatitis. However, there are plenty more of these anecdotes from his colourful life that he didn’t choose to share which would have been equally well-received, for example, meeting Bill Clinton, his adventures with Denis Healey, and his time at the University of East Anglia where he studied creative writing under the tutelage of Malcolm Bradbury.

His poems – one on Paris and one which paid homage to Rudyard Kipling’s “If” added poignancy and showed off his writing capability and originality, and there are not many comedians who would end their performance with a song about a dancing bear. Great stuff.

88. Do something great in the field of recycling

Gosh this sounds arrogant (which is quite uncharacteristic of me); but I think I was aiming high, trying to do something to stop things going to landfill, such as the thousands of video tapes that head that way every day.

I have been a one-woman campaign to try to reduce the number of carrier bags that are used. Unfortunately, most people actually don't care about this. When I worked in a supermarket, you'd be stunned at how many people got quite tetchy when you asked them if they'd brought a bag. When you decide to do the "weekly shop", why would you turn up without a single carrier bag? I made this point to a woman in Tesco who offered me a bag when I had bought a packet of bread sauce and she was so rude when I said I'd put it into my handbag, that I honestly thought about complaining. But since when did Tesco care?!

Anyway, this isn’t something I can really claim the credit for; this is all MrPBR.
MrPBR is a smashing bloke and has a big heart. Even in his job, he does lovely things every day for the local community. One of these is to fund a local project where anyone in our town who is over the age of 80 gets a Christmas parcel with some festive food inside.

More than 3,000 people qualify, and thanks to a tie up with the supermarket in town (of which there are three from the same chain), each one was to be handed over in a plastic bag. I asked if these could be either linen or a “bag for Life”. MrPBR reports that they’re going to be delivered in a Bag for Life, so hopefully each one of the 3,000 will get reused and reused. I hope so.....

65. See an opera

The last time I went to the opera, it must have been 2003 and it was Carmen, set outdoors in the amazing surroundings of Abbotsbury in Dorset. However, I listed opera again in the 101 in 1001 list, which was quite fortuitous as there was one across the road from my house..

This was also outdoors and it was La Boheme performed by Opera Brava and subsidised by a local charitable organisation called the Greenham Common Trust which supports local organisations and charities. Not only were we fortunate to have our tickets subsidised so that tickets were just £10 each, but we were also lucky that the rain stopped about an hour before the performance!

It was such a lovely evening out, and so wonderful to go to the opera at a fraction of the price of Covent Garden. A look at the current schedule for Tosca sees prices range from 9.70 right at the back to more than £900 for the best seats.

We took a picnic, sat back and enjoyed the amazing music, and fortunately, lyrics sung in ENGLISH!

45. Visit River Cottage

Have I done this one or not? You decide!!

I have managed to tick quite a few items off my list and I have done all of this without the knowledge of my dearly beloved. I am helped, a little, by the fact that he is used to a certain level of eccentricity from me. However, when I announced last week that I had booked a hire car for the day (a convertible) and then asked him if he was free any weekends in July to get down to River Cottage for lunch, he asked me what on earth I was doing.

So I told him about my 101 in 1001 plan, which he actually agreed was a great idea. He let the convertible thing go (it's my birthday next week, so he suggested we try to do it then), but when it came to River Cottage, he said we'd already done it!

"When?" I asked, wondering if I'd been hit on the head.

"Last year, at the Beautiful Days festival in Devon. Don't you remember you bought a veggie burger for £7 from that guy Tim who was on the show last night? That was from the River Cottage stall."

So I'm stumped. Can I tick it off as I got the River Cottage experience, or must I drive down to Devon? I think I'm going to count it!

Rolling along...

3. Fix roller blades
4. Go to a roller blade event
5. sell roller blades

DONE, NOT DONE and DONE!!

I must have been able to see my roller blades when I drew up this list! MrPBR and I had a boot sale the other day where we had a fabulously uplifting clear out! I found a bolt to fix the wheel that had come off, took them along to the boot sale and sold them for a fiver to a very happy young girl, carefully missing out the "going to a roller blade event" idea. I did, after all, nearly manage to kick myself in the face the first time I went roller blading as a youngster along the Beaches in Toronto. I also recall that on the same day, I experienced a pure Frank Spencer moment when I couldn't stop and managed to wheel in and out of a few lanes of traffic on Queen STreet East without being hit. Why I bought the damn things after that I don't know....

82. Consider fostering/adoption

NOT DONE!

I have had to put this one on hold for about a year or two if things work out as I have done something a bit stupid and gone and got myself pregnant. How is it that everyone else knows exactly what to do and where to go under these circumstances, yet it is all new to me? Even the midwife was laughing at some of my questions today! So I am feeling like a silly schoolgirl, totally overwhelmed and alternating between complete disbelief and a blind sense of panic in wanting to get everything ready!

Of course, this might not work out, but even if it does, adoption (which I think I prefer to fostering) won't be a option until 2012!!

64. Watch the Eurovision song concert live

NOT DONE.

Well, this was last weekend and won't be around again until next year, so I did not complete this successfully. In fact, from looking around the Eurovision website, I still haven't got my head around how you actually get tickets to the event, and it's very much like Top of the Pops in that you never meet anyone who has watched it live!!

Last year, I was slightly nearer to achieving my goal as I was actually in Oslo the week before it happened, but this year, I didn't actually know it was in Dusseldorf, well, until the day itself!

So, I can't tick this off the list, but I can leave you with one of my favourite Eurovision entries of all time. Sort of...

61. Get another campervan

DONE!
Very exciting, but a bit of an expensive purchase!! MrPBR and I bought a campervan over the weekend for a summer of festival fun! I used to have a T25 which was fabulous fun, until one day it ran no longer. Methinks it was something to do with the fact that I asked MrPBR to drive it home just the one time as I was exhausted. He drove it at 75mph, despite me begging him to slow down, and funnily enough it didn't work after that. We have a slightly newer one now with a bigger engine - so if MrPBR wants to drive it at 75mph, he can!!

40. Gain confidence with public speaking. Go on a course if necessary!

DONE!

When I was new in my current job, I was asked to attend a meeting, not realising that they were going to ask me to do a presentation on what I did and what I wanted to achieve by the end of the year. Totally unprepared, I waffled, stammered, perspired and eventually gave up half way through when I looked up at my audience to see a few people tapping away on their laptops, others texting and the rest looking bored.

I am a writer and am far more comfortable in my area than I am talking to people. Part of this is chronic shyness and thinking that I have nothing of value to share with people and an awful awareness of my high pitched horrible voice.

However, I realised that this was getting me nowhere and making me look like an idiot. When it came to presentations, I was never picked and simply had to sit through my colleagues’ talks (usually written by me), simply nodding. Last night I went on a mini workshop where the idea was that speaking in public is simply a conversation with more people, and we were given the opportunity to try this out.

Many people have the same feelings, and even people who appeared to be good public speakers didn’t enjoy speaking in public and had horror stories similar to mine.

I have of course, had good public speaking experiences, but like most people, tend to remember the negative ones! I have noticed that preparation is the key – when I go through things in my head, I can visualise good outcomes and then they do tend to follow in real life!! Though I’ll never be comfortable, I’m going to stand up straight, smile, glance at my notes and just do it. What’s the worst that could happen?!

50. Keep chickens

Not done!

I have decided that this isn't for me. Which is an achievement in itself, to think that you want to do something and then investigate further and realise it's not what you want. MrPBR and I do live a kind of Good Life; we grow our own vegetables, we try not to use the cars too much, we make do and mend, we cook from scratch (or he does, anyway!). We wanted to add a chicken coop to this, but in the end decided it was more hassle than it was worth. We don't have a lot of outdoor space, we both work full time (and more!). I don't eat meat, and we don't actually use that many eggs....

78. Clear out my parents’ garages

DONE!

I have FINALLY succeeded in clearing out my mum’s garage! She rented some space from one of her friends with the intention of keeping it for about a month. However, she then moved abroad and left me to sort it which I have now done. SIX YEARS LATER!! I know I am useless (my mum’s friend asked me what took so long, and I couldn’t give her a proper answer!), but now mum’s garage is empty, so we’re not paying rent on it and I feel so much better. The downside is that my bedroom is full to bursting with boxes of mum’s stuff and I am sleeping on the landing! I obviously can’t throw/sell/recycle her belongings (which include a box containing a replica of Darth Vader’s head, holiday brochures from the 70s/textbooks from the 60s and a box of brand new CDs – the mind boggles) but it has certainly focused the mind on getting rid of my own clutter which I’ve done with a vengeance.

Which reminds me – would anyone like my mountain bike wheels?!

47. Actually make it to May Morning in Oxford!

My challenge ends in November, so the last opportunity to go to May morning within the 1001 days has been and gone, so I have reprimanded myself for failing to tick this off my list...and what was I doing instead? I was throwing knobs of course!!

http://www.dorsetknobthrowing.com/

85. Get private clients for PR (including music!)

Long time, no blog! I have been so busy with work and life in general that I haven't had time to think about the 101 in 1001 challenge but notice there's only 7 months left!! So, I must crack on with this, and number 85 is one that I've actually succeeded at, although there's always room for improvement! I work full-time (until recently in two jobs) so I've only managed to get three private clients so far through word-of-mouth and networking. That's not a bad start! I am a PR manager, specialising in public relations for small businesses, and I've been successful in raising awareness for three local businesses -all, I note, run by women. As a former journalist, writing is my passion, and while gaining PR for other people is no problem, I am painfully shy and am no good at promoting myself. Being shy, I've found it easier to get female clients on board, so perhaps I should stick to my strengths and pursue women entrepreneurs! This challenge is deeper than it seems! Hope everyone else is getting on well! I read your blogs and find them very inspirational! I have another blog over at www.charity365.blogspot.com which details my journey through a different charity each day throughout 2011, so please feel free to come and join me over there!

76 – Learn more about plants, trees and wildlife.

I’m going to tick this off the list as I have been reading up and also volunteering with a local wildlife group who volunteer to protect the local countryside. From my knowledge of absolutely zero about plants and trees, I now have a reasonable knowledge of what’s what, when and where it grows and plants that are native to the UK. There’s still a lot to learn though!

http://www.pangandkennetvalleys.org.uk/page3.html

10. Learn to sleep better

I don't know how this made it onto the list, as it's not quantifiable and it's something that most people manage to do quite easily! My sleep problem is quite unusual and comes in waves depending on how stressed and worried I am. I have absolutely no trouble getting to sleep - my problem is night terrors - a problem that is very rare in adults, although some children get them, but grow out of them.

My problem is that in the middle of the night, I will "see" someone in my room, usually standing right over me. I wake up and scream with my heart pounding, but quite often do not remember the episode the next day. It is absolutely exhausting, not just for me, but also for Mr PBR who gets quite upset to see me so agitated.

I've got a nightlight, which seems to help but doesn't eradicate the problem completely. What does seem to help is wearing earplugs as the problem seems to be caused by hearing noises. Mr PBR also has to run through what we call the "pre-flight checks", comforting me and telling me that the doors are locked, the alarm is set and everything is switched off.

The problem seems to be caused by worries that I try to surpress during the day, manifesting themselves quite viscerally at night. While this seems to be better at the moment, I'm not cured, but I am going to tick this one off the list - one less thing to worry about, you see -haha!

20. Read all of the BBC’s greatest 100 books

Just finished one of the books from the list: Far From The Madding Crowd by Thomas Hardy. Having actually grown up in Hardy's Wessex, including Casterbridge which features as the main town close to the village of Weatherbury where the action is set, it was pretty embarrassing that I'd not read this before. I think Weatherbury is based on nearby Puddletown, but I'm happy to be corrected!
After a difficult start to the book, and having been haunted by the misery of Jude and the Woodlanders which are the only Hardy novels I've read, I found it hard to get into, but then really enjoyed the historical detail and the highly descriptive drama of love in its various guises. Onto the next book from the BBC’s 'greatest 100 books' which I think will be Catch 22 as I've spied amongst my partner's books on the shelf.....